Lean into the fear that has shown up to guide you
Fear, the first natural enemy that we face as beings. A common feeling that most of us have probably felt consumed by in the last few months. Fear of our future stability, fear of not knowing when we will be able to socialize again, the fear of losing the world that we have always known or the fear of not getting back to our “normal”. I have been reflecting on my “normal”. Before today, my normal was starting to look like not having enough time in the day for the people or things that I loved, not enough time to enjoy the sun and my garden and not enough time of silence. Silence to reflect. Silence that was much needed in this loud world of ours. Most importantly, I needed to face and accept this new uncertainty. While also realizing that life is ALWAYS uncertain. That my needs and wants are not at the center of the universe. I needed to challenge my ego. I needed to surrender my worries and the control that I thought I had back over to the Creator.
“Most importantly, I needed to face and accept this new uncertainty. While also realizing that life is ALWAYS uncertain.”
What do you see as your “normal”?
Before the pandemic, many of our lives were led with chaos, deadlines, overbooked schedules, undivided attention to electronic distractions and noise. A few of us might have been blessed to have a few minutes in the morning or maybe before bed where we could quiet our minds and attempt to sort out our feelings from the day. Majority though, would fall asleep working emails, grading papers or watching our favorite show that we could manage to squeeze in. I believe that we were trying our best. Doing our best with what we always believed to be normal. Our “normal” told us that multitasking and keeping busy equaled success. Most of us do our best to leave a great legacy behind for our future kids or generations to come. Most of us are just trying to make our dreams become our reality and create a better life for our families than we grew up with. We feel in control being busy. But who are we without the busyness and the deadlines? Who are we when we’re not being graded or appraised by our employer? Who are we without the raises and bonuses that we are expecting? What do we have to give from ourselves when all those external factors and expected validations are removed? Do the people we live with and share a home with feel safe, heard and understood by us? Are we showing up for ourselves and the ones we walk this earth with? Are we present and engaged when spending times with others? Are we living out of worthiness or from a place of lack?
Asking yourself those questions will probably bring up a state of fear. But what’s deeper than that? Where does fear originate from? If we pay attention to when fear arises and what it feels like, we will notice that it is just a state of uncomfortableness. Naturally, most of us subconsciously try to stay in a state of comfort. When fear or discomfort show up, we may tend to try to bargain with the fear. Instead of flowing with the fear and leaning into it, we try to get out of it. We make excuses of being too occupied or needed when faced with the opportunity of bettering ourselves. We want to level up but want to skip the process of being uncomfortable to get there.
“Where does fear originate from? If we pay attention to when fear arises and what it feels like, we will notice that it is just a state of uncomfortableness.”
I have learned these last few months that to level up, I must challenge myself, lean into the resistance and be uncomfortable. I noticed fear showing up in my life when I was forced to slow down. I did not have yoga classes to plan, classes to teach, workshops to lead, 2 a day workouts or outreach activities to volunteer for. I was met with silence and uncomfortableness. I was always tricked into believing that if I did not have a lot going on, that I was not doing enough. So naturally when the COVID crisis abruptly showed up and halted my “normal” life, I freaked. I felt overwhelmed with having nothing to do. I was now faced with the things that I had been running from by allowing myself to stay “too busy”. To SIT. To LISTEN. To REFLECT. To ACCEPT. To BECOME AWARE.
I became aware of the fact that most of the things that kept me busy were not that enjoyable to me. I made the decision to start every day just sitting and listening. I started to hear what my heart was really yearning for. I started to hear what my husband was really yearning for from me. I started to notice all the small but apparent things I had been missing out on, by being too busy. I started to notice how I could show up for myself and my loved ones. My life has changed drastically in the last 3 months just by stopping to listen and then stepping into the fear that showed up. I realized that I kept busy with things that I excelled in to prevent me from stepping into the life that was created for me. I was afraid to be free to dream and live an abundant life.
“As sometimes doing nothing is the best thing that we can do. It is a choice. For some of us, it can be the hardest choice.”
My days stopped. I allowed myself to not keep up with the days and time. I woke up every day allowing God to cover me and take any fear or discomfort away. I put away my planner. I worked out for fun. I rode bikes with my husband every afternoon and stopped to admire the birds and lakes. I leaned into the guilt of sleeping in and having Delgado coffee after 9am. I enjoyed daily and deep conversations with my closest friends. I checked up on others. I blogged and created. I created essential oil blends. I learned to cook and made a recipe book. I redid esthetics in our home and threw out everything that no longer brought me joy. I sat in fields of soft grass and flew a kite with my husband and dog in the park. I allowed myself to go out into nature to do absolutely nothing. As sometimes doing nothing is the best thing that we can do. It is a choice. For some of us, it can be the hardest choice.
“The first step into living fearless is to be aware of how we react when fear presents itself in our lives.”
This will look different for everyone. It might look like stopping to take a nap or long bath instead of running around nonstop trying to fill roles that we think people need us to be for them. For some, it might look like stopping to research stocks and investments instead of believing the false belief that you do not deserve wealth or that the salary you make now is “good enough”.
When you start to feel uncomfortable in a situation, stop and notice what the 1st thought is that pops into your mind. Is it a false belief preventing you from living a bigger and better life or is it a reassuring thought that reminds you of your perseverance and worth?
The first step into living fearless is to be aware of how we react when fear presents itself in our lives. Our emotions of fear are valid, but we should not allow those emotions to control our lives. Set aside time to spend in silence listening to your heart. Your fears will present themselves and when they do, acknowledge those fears and then do the work so they do not become your reality. For the fears that we do not face become our limits.
Learn more about Britt Glenn by visiting her website BendNot2Break